Who Am I?

You know when all this first happened it completely flipped my whole world upside down.  I began to question everything, but my faith in God.  Now that he was no longer in our home he no longer was the head of our household.  I now had to fill that role and that made really question who I was and what exactly I wanted for my children and I.  This thought process was also prompted by a very dear friend who is traveling a very similar road.  So I really began to seek God and search myself for who I was and this opened my eyes to so much that otherwise would have never seen.  I realized that I had no idea what I wanted or what I even enjoyed doing for that matter.  I had really forgotten who I was.  I had tried so hard to be the perfect submissive wife that always allowed my husband to lead our family without my "nagging" that I lost my voice and part of myself.  I was trying to hard to be the "perfect" wife always saying and doing the "right" thing that I lost who I was in the process.  I was too busy worrying about what my children and husband needed that I never really even thought about what I wanted.  I mean there is something seriously wrong if I have trouble thinking of something I like or want to do.  It should not be that difficult to come up with something.  I was further challenged by this same friend to to come up with 50 goals in 50 years.  When she first mentioned it I thought it was a bit cheesy, but then I laughed at the thought of actually coming up with 50 goals that I wanted to accomplish.  I mean I have trouble even thinking of something I enjoy doing anymore.  And wouldn't you know it once I actually forced myself to sit down and think about these things I have MORE THAN 50!  Who would of thought it!  I am so looking forward to taking steps to reach those goals and rediscovering myself along the way.  Not only will this make me a better person and christian, but it will also make me a better mother which is by far ONE of my highest callings, but it definitely is not my only calling.  And as I journey down this road of rediscovering the person God has created me to be I know that it is only through Him that I will truly find myself.  Nothing on this earth not even my children or husband can tell me who I was created to be.  Only the one who knit me together in my mother's womb (my designer) can truly tell me what I was designed for.  He knows me better than I know myself and He will direct my steps and my goals.  And He already is.  I know that I was called to missions before I was married and my husband and I always had a heart do missions work.  I still have that calling on my life regardless of my marital status and I will not forsake that calling on my life.  I have no idea how it will all come to pass, but I know God does and He has it all under control.

I thought I would include my 50 goals on here just for my own record and to help others start to really think about their own goals for their life.  Without vision the people perish.  We need to have a vision!
In no particular order.
1.)  Write a book
2.)  Travel to all 50 states in a RV
3.)  Go on the mission field.
4.)  Learn to be still before God
5.)  Memorize entire chapters in the bible
6.)  Become more acquainted with God's voice
7.)  Work at a soup kitchen
8.)  Minster to the homeless on the streets
9.)  Learn the piano
10.) Speak to groups of people
11.)  Start a bible study
12.)  Take in someone who needs a place to stay
13.)  Live a life completely obedient to God's call.  (I know this will take a lifetime;)
14.)  Pick up a hitch hiker (no lectures on safety please;)
15.)  Get in shape
16.)  Eat healthier
17.)  Go back packing
18.)  Horse back riding in the mountains.
19.)  Own a horse ranch and use it to minister to teens.
20.)  Be more organized
21.)  Spend quality time with the kids each day.
22.)  Discover and cultivate each of the gifts God has given my children.
23.)  Go skydiving!
24.)  Go bungee jumping!
25.)  Go rock climbing
26.)  Go to Washington D.C.
27.)  Take a family vacation every year
28.)  Do something for myself each day
29.)  Go swimming in a waterfall
30.)  Be fearless
31.)  Be confident in myself through Christ
32.)  Home school my children
33.)  Be in full time ministry
34.)  Learn to dance
35.)  Give away my last dollar
36.)  tithe 10% regularly
37.)  Lead as many people to Christ as possible
38.)  Invest in someone's life
39.)  Make and keep family traditions
40.)  Go on a cruise
41.)  Spend time daily in prayer and reading God's Word.
42.)  Run a 5k
43.)  Go to OSOM and get my ministering license
44.)  Go witnessing on the streets.
45.)  Teach and model all God's ways to my children
46.)  Sing again
47.)  Be intentional with each and every day no more coasting by
48.)  Have and actually take care of a nice garden with food and flowers.
49.)  Adopt a needy family for Christmas
50.)  Learn how to paint
51.)  Take a cake decorating class
52.)  Take a cooking class at the learning kitchen.
53.) Take my children on a mission trip.
54.)  Glorify God!