My Provider

It is no secret that I am completely dreading this holiday season.  This will be our first holiday apart and I tear up just at that thought of not having him here Christmas morning.  My heart breaks for my children who just want their daddy so badly to be here not just Christmas morning, but every morning and night.  I just can't imagine what it will be like without him here and all the excitement he always brought.  It doesn't even stop there though.  I get to mourn our anniversary just 3 days later and how we have been married 9 years now.  So yes this holiday season is not one I am too excited about.  I am trying to keep busy every day this week to keep our minds off of what we are lacking this Christmas. I also wanted to take a moment and reflect on all the gifts God has GIVEN during this time instead of dwelling on what has been taken from us. He deserves the praise and the glory for it all!

Any one who knows me knows I am not one to ask for help.  It is extremely difficult for me to impose on people in anyway.  And through all this I have not really had to ask for anything.  It really has been amazing watching God meet our every need.  It really leaves me speechless.  I don't think I had to buy groceries for the first month after I had Faith.  I had a meal brought to me almost every night for the first 2 weeks after I had her.  On top of that my pastor's wife brought me a bunch of easy to prepare groceries as well as a close friend who brought groceries and some necessities that I was almost out of.  My pastor has dropped off 3 boxes of groceries for us at one point.  And then I went to Thanksgiving Dinner give away thing that our church helped with just to minister to those receiving the meals and I go to my van to find everything I need to make a Thanksgiving dinner.  It really has been awesome! I had friends come and help with my children and put them to bed for me.  I had other friends take my kids out for the day to give them something fun to do and give me a break.  My family was AMAZING!  My mother and sister in law came over and helped me get my house in order when I was too weak to do it myself due to being under such enormous amounts of stress and being unable to eat during my pregnancy and no longer having a husband here to help.  My father and brother came over to drywall my son's and the baby's room and get it ready for the new baby.  My parents have sent their men over on several occasions to fix or help out with anything that I might need done around the house. I had a very dear friend offer to home school my daughter because my mind could not even begin to take on that responsibility on top of all the other drama I was dealing with.  That was such a huge answer to prayers, because I did not want to send her to public school and add yet one more thing that would just rock her world.  We also heat our home with a wood stove.  This is something that was always my husband's job and I always hated dealing with. Before I even thought about how I needed to start buying some wood some dear friends approached me about it and they brought me a truck load within the week.  I had not even thought about wood yet, but God was making sure it was covered;)  I had another family from our church bring me another load right before the other load ran out and my parents bought this last load all without me ever even mentioning it.  God has blessed me so much through all this that I have made sure to tithe every bit of money that I have recived, because it is more real than ever before that it all really comes from Him anyway.  In doing so I gave $10 more in tithe one Sunday just thinking oh well I am sure God will make up the difference.  And before I left church that Sunday my pastor's wife hands me $100 that someone gave in the offering.  A little over a week later I tithe more again because I did not have the change and I got $75 from my aunt and my pastor hands me a check for $200.  If it wasn't for that money I would not have had gas, water, internet, etc....  That was a huge blessing!  And as of this morning I did not really have any money to buy my children Christmas presents, but I really wasn't stressing.  I just knew He would take care of it.  And when I went over to my mom's to decorate some ornaments and have cookies with the kids my uncle had left $100 for me.  I was able to get some presents for the kids this evening!  God is so good!  I have had others hand me $20 here and there.  And it has even been crazy little things like just thinking man it would be nice to have some frisch's kids meal coupons and my friend came over with $20 and a gift card to frisch's and kids meal coupons! It's crazy!  Even to the point of me praying and saying God I know this is really shallow, but I really don't like my hair right now and I really need it cut and I would Love for it to be highlighted.  And my hairstylist/friend offers to cut my hair AND all my children's hair and when I get there she asks me if I want her to highlight it! Ummm.... YEAH! It is just so awesome to know that He even cares about the little things.  Just because He wants you to know how much He loves you!  And then I forget about having to have costumes for the Fall Fun Fest and my sister-in-law calls and asks if I would like her sister to make my kids some masks and she will make some capes and tutus.  I neither had the money or time to even think about this, but God knew what my children and I needed.  He has used my family and friends to provide clothes and and winter coats for my children. I know that there is more I am forgetting at the the moment, but this is just a glimpse of His provision for us in all this.  I am telling you we serve an awesome God!  He is my provider and He will meet all your needs!(emphasis on needs)  I am in awe of just how much He loves and cares for us.  He cares about the stuff that makes us happy.  He cares more about our character, but there are times when He just wants to show you He truly cares.  And that is just so amazing to think that the God of the universe just wants to make little old me happy and let me know He is pleased with me.

I will praise the Lord at all times; His praise will always be on my lips.  I will boast in the Lord; the humble will hear and be glad.  Proclaim with me the Lord's greatness; let us exalt His name together.

I sought the Lord, and He answered me and delivered me from all my fears.  Those who look to Him are radiant with joy; their faces will never be ashamed.  This poor man cried, and the Lord heard him and saved him from all his troubles.  The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear Him, and rescues them.

Taste and see that the Lord is good.  How happy is the man who takes refuge in Him!  Fear the Lord, you His saints, for those who fear Him lack nothing.  Young lions lack food and go hungry, but those who seek the Lord will not lack any good thing. (Psalm 34:1-10)