Calling on ALL Men! Just some encouragement from a single mom.

 

                This post I am asking the men to give me their ear and later I will ask for your wife’s ear.  I don’t believe that I am anyone special, but given my circumstances I believe God has given some perspective that you might not have.  I just want to encourage the men out there with just how vital your role is as both a father and a husband.  I am speaking from a perspective of one who has seen what happens when that role has been neglected and/or abandoned all together.

                I have seen the hearts of children break because their father is no longer a part of their daily life.  I have seen my children grapple with not understanding why daddy is no longer here.  I have seen their anger because all they desire more than anything is to be a family again.  I am watching them struggle in school because they are so overwhelmed with their home life that they cannot even begin to concentrate on a worksheet at school.  I watch as one child is diagnosed with separation anxiety and another attention deficit disorder and anxiety disorder.  I watch them not be able to stay the night at a friend’s house for fear that something may happen.  I watch them cry from stomach pains, because they have so much anxiety about so many facets of life.

  I don’t write this for your pity.  It’s not my desire in the least.  I write this so that you can see just how vital your role is in their life. 

You, Dad, are their refuge. 

You are their safe place.

You make them feel secure and that everything is right in the world.

And the single most important thing you can give a child is the safety and security to just be a kid and not carry such a heavy burden at such a young age.

I think it is easy for men to feel like their role is not that important, but I am telling you it is just as important as the mother.  Yes the mother in most cases does most of the caring for the children’s needs, but I am telling you that you are such a crucial piece to the equation and do not underestimate your value.

It does not stop there, because your role as a husband so deeply effects both your children and your wife.  The manner in which you treat your wife is showing your boys how to treat their wife one day and your daughters how to expect to be treated by their future spouse.

Are you treating your wife in the same way you want your daughter to be treated?  Do you want your daughter to marry someone like you?  What would you change if she were to marry someone just like you?  Are you the kind of man you want her to marry?  Be that man for your wife not just for your wife, but for your daughters and sons too.

I am going to be honest with you I look around at the men in this day and age and my heart cries out, “Where are the men of God who are going to rise up and fight against their own selfish desires?”  Yes, I do see some out there I don’t want to throw the baby out with the bath water.  It just breaks my heart to see what so many men and women live for these days.  You are missing out and your families are suffering and if you are not careful you will lose it all.  Trust me.  I know.
I ask where are the men who are seeking to PROTECT women and not PREY upon them?  Men have been trained these days to take what they can get from women, but where are the men who will RISE UP and stand up for a girl’s purity?  Where are the men who will look the other way instead of staring and trying to see how much they can see?  Where are the men who will refuse to see how far they can get, because they care more about protecting the girl rather than seeing just how far they can get?  I believe this can be said to women too, but I am just addressing the men right now.

I am not going to pretend like this is an easy battle for you all, but it is a battle you cannot afford to avoid. 

Your daughters and sons need you to RISE UP and FIGHT! 

They need you to train this next generation to do the same.

And women they need your support and not for you to tell them everything they need or should be doing.  I know it’s a difficult line to walk.  I know that frustration of having your husband not be the spiritual leader you so desire him to be.  It can be incredibly frustrating.  But take it from someone who is now forced into that role.  It is not an easy role to have.  I think about all the things I desired for my ex to do like consistent family devotionals, prayers and I would wonder why he could not just do it.  I kept most of these thoughts to myself, but they did nag at me.  And now I have to admit I have these same thoughts about myself.  Why can’t I just get my act together and be more consistent with prayers and devotions and……  Well, you fill in the blank.  It is so easy to be critical of what you think others should do, but I am telling you just try and walk a mile in their shoes.  It’s not easy.    In Exodus 17:11-12 when Moses had his arms raised the Israelites prevailed over the Amalekites, but as soon as his arms went down the Amalekites would begin to prevail.  So Aaron and Hur became his support.  They came up beside him and gave him a place to sit and held his arms up with him.   I believe that is what God is calling us to.  We need to hold up the arms of our husbands as they embark on these battles.  They need your support. Help them fight!

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” 2 Timothy 1:7